General guidance on consent at home
Here consent means a family conversation, not a legal standard, and this page does not give legal advice. If a post is causing your child real distress, a pediatrician or mental health professional can help.
Asking Your Child Before You Post
How to build asking into family sharing as your child grows
Quick answer
Sources agree that asking is a good habit, especially as children get older. There is no single agreed age to start: one source suggests starting as young as possible, and another describes children taking part in reviewing posts from around 9 or 10.
At a glance
Things to try now
What to do now
- 1Ask your child about the next photo before it goes anywhere
- 2Ask an older child or teen which past posts they would like taken down
- 3Agree on the family's sharing rules with your partner or co-parent, then talk them through with your child
What to say
- “I love this picture. Is it okay if I send it to Grandpa and our family group?”
- “Are there any photos of you online that you'd like me to take down?”
- “You said no, so I won't post it. Thanks for telling me.”
What to practice consistently
- Asking even for small posts, so it becomes routine
- Explaining your reasons when you do decide to share
- Asking your child how they feel about photos as their preferences change
What to avoid
- Asking and then posting anyway after a no
- Sharing embarrassing stories or pictures, even funny ones
- Assuming that a child who was fine with posts last year still feels the same
These are common approaches mentioned in sources and by parents. They are informational, not prescriptive.
What parents say
We haven't published parent perspectives on this topic yet.
What this usually involves
- Showing your child a photo before it goes up
- Naming who would see it and where
- Accepting a no, including for photos you love
- Giving children more of a say as they grow
- Going through older posts together and removing what no longer fits
Related questions
The American Academy of Pediatrics says posting can never be 100% safe but that careful thought and privacy tools can reduce the risks.
The Family Online Safety Institute suggests that partners or ex-partners agree on family rules together and then discuss them with their children.
Common Sense Media advises leaving your child's friends out of photos you post, and the Family Online Safety Institute advises against sharing children whose parents have not agreed.
Related articles on Parent.wiki
When Relatives Post Your Child Without Permission
Common Sense Media says that unless a post breaks a platform's rules, you generally cannot get it taken down yourself, so clear family rules are the main tool. Some platforms have a privacy route for requesting removal, so check the platform's help pages, though it may not succeed. A polite, specific request usually comes first: delete it, crop your child out, or drop names and location tags. Setting expectations early and repeating them, as the American Academy of Pediatrics suggests, can head off the next post.
Is It Safe to Post Pictures of Your Child Online?
The American Academy of Pediatrics says there is no single right answer: posting is common and not inherently wrong, but it can never be fully safe. The main concerns are losing control of an image, revealing where a child is, and how the image could be reused. Parents can reduce these risks by limiting the audience and what each photo shows.
Questions to Ask Parents and Grandparents
The most useful questions are specific and open enough to invite a story. StoryCorps and the Smithsonian publish free lists that cover childhood, courtship, family sayings, recipes, heirlooms and how big historical events touched the family. A handful of questions is a simple place to start.
How to Talk With Your Child About Shared Memories
Researchers call it elaborative reminiscing: chatting about shared events with open questions, added details, talk about feelings and room for the child's own version. It has been linked to stronger memory, language and emotional skills. It can be learned, and it fits into ordinary moments.