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Helping Toddlers Manage Frustration When Sharing

A structured overview of what credible sources and parent perspectives commonly say about this topic.

Quick answer

Toddlers' frustration during sharing is a normal developmental phase linked to limited self-regulation and communication skills. Helpful approaches include calmly acknowledging feelings, teaching calming techniques like deep breathing or asking for a break, setting consistent limits with empathy, and praising specific positive behaviors such as sharing or waiting patiently.

At a glance

Most common inToddlers aged 1 to 3 years
Usually meansDifficulty managing strong emotions due to immature self-regulation and language skills
What helps mostCalm parental responses, emotional labeling, teaching simple calming strategies, and positive reinforcement
AvoidGiving in to tantrum demands, harsh punishment, or reacting with anger
Look closer ifTantrums are very frequent, last longer than 15 minutes, involve self-injury, or significantly impair daily functioning

Things to try now

What to do now

  • 11. When your toddler gets frustrated during sharing, calmly say, 'I see you're upset because you want the toy.'
  • 22. Offer a simple calming strategy like, 'Let’s take a deep breath together,' or give a stuffed animal to squeeze.
  • 33. Redirect to a positive activity after the tantrum, such as, 'Let’s play with this puzzle now.'

What to say

  • “I know you were upset when you had to share the toy.”
  • “It’s okay to feel angry, but hitting is not allowed. I'm here with you.”
  • “Thank you for waiting your turn — that was very patient of you!”

What to practice consistently

  • Regularly narrate emotions during calm moments to build emotional vocabulary.
  • Consistently set simple, empathetic limits on behavior around sharing.
  • Praise efforts to share and express feelings with words rather than actions.

What to avoid

  • Giving in to tantrum demands, which can reinforce the behavior.
  • Reacting with anger or frustration, which models poor emotional regulation.
  • Ignoring the child's feelings or dismissing their frustration.

These are common approaches mentioned in sources and by parents. They are informational, not prescriptive.

What this usually involves

  • Recognizing tantrums as normal emotional development in toddlers (AAP, ZERO TO THREE)
  • Parents staying calm and ensuring safety during outbursts (AAP)
  • Narrating and labeling emotions to build emotional literacy (ZERO TO THREE)
  • Teaching simple calming strategies like deep breaths or squeezing a stuffed animal (Child Mind Institute)
  • Setting consistent, simple limits with empathy (ZERO TO THREE)
  • Using positive reinforcement to praise sharing and patience (AAP)

Related questions

How can I teach my toddler to use words instead of tantrums?

Narrate emotions during calm times, label feelings, and praise attempts to use words to express frustration.

What are simple calming strategies for toddlers?

Techniques like taking deep breaths, squeezing a favorite toy, or asking for a break can help toddlers manage emotions.

When should I consult a pediatrician about my toddler’s tantrums?

If tantrums are very frequent, last over 15 minutes, involve self-harm, or severely disrupt daily life, seek professional advice.

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About this page

Sources checked

2026-08-18

This page was created using structured synthesis of public guidance, parent perspectives, and practical next steps.

It is informational only and not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or educational advice.

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Helping Toddlers Manage Frustration When Sharing | Parent.wiki