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How to Help Your Child Calm Down Before They Hit
A structured overview of what credible sources and parent perspectives commonly say about this topic.
Quick answer
Before hitting occurs, parents can teach children calming techniques such as deep breathing or squeezing a stuffed animal, set clear and empathetic limits like 'I won't let you hit, but I'm here with you,' and model calm behavior themselves. Options for calming strategies include those recommended by the Child Mind Institute and ZERO TO THREE, which emphasize emotional literacy and self-regulation skills.
At a glance
Things to try now
What to do now
- 11. Stay calm and ensure the child is safe without reacting angrily.
- 22. Offer a simple calming tool like a stuffed animal to squeeze or suggest deep breaths.
- 33. Set a clear limit with empathy: 'I won’t let you hit, but I’m here with you.'
What to say
- “I know you’re upset right now, and that’s okay.”
- “When you feel angry, you can take deep breaths or ask for a break.”
- “Hitting hurts, so we use our words or take a moment to calm down instead.”
What to practice consistently
- Regularly narrate emotions during calm moments to build emotional vocabulary.
- Practice calming strategies together daily, like breathing exercises.
- Consistently reinforce positive behaviors with specific praise.
What to avoid
- Reacting with anger or frustration, which models poor emotional regulation.
- Giving in to tantrum demands, which can reinforce hitting behavior.
- Using punishment instead of positive reinforcement to shape behavior.
These are common approaches mentioned in sources and by parents. They are informational, not prescriptive.
What this usually involves
- Recognizing that hitting often stems from frustration or inability to express feelings
- Teaching simple calming strategies such as deep breathing or asking for a break
- Setting clear, consistent, and empathetic limits like 'I won’t let you hit, but I’m here with you'
- Modeling calm emotional regulation by parents to demonstrate appropriate behavior
- Narrating feelings during calm moments to build emotional vocabulary (e.g., 'You felt angry when...')
- Using positive reinforcement to praise appropriate ways of expressing frustration
Related questions
Encourage using words to describe feelings, practice calming strategies, and model calm emotional expression.
Deep breathing, squeezing a stuffed animal, taking a break, and guided imagery are commonly recommended.
If tantrums are very frequent, last long, involve self-injury, or if you feel overwhelmed, consult your pediatrician.
Related articles on Parent.wiki
Helping Your Child Calm Down Before They Hit
Children often hit out of frustration or inability to manage strong emotions. Helping them calm down involves teaching simple calming strategies, staying calm yourself, and setting consistent limits with empathy. Recognizing triggers and reinforcing positive behaviors can prevent hitting before it starts.
Effective Strategies to Help Your Child Calm Down During Tantrums
Tantrums are a normal developmental phase, especially common in toddlers, as children learn to manage strong emotions. Teaching calming techniques, staying calm yourself, and acknowledging your child's feelings while setting consistent limits can help your child learn emotional regulation over time.
Effective Strategies to Help Your Child Calm Down During a Tantrum
Tantrums are a normal developmental phase, especially common in toddlers, reflecting their struggle to manage strong emotions. Teaching calming techniques, staying calm yourself, and acknowledging your child's feelings while setting consistent limits can help children learn emotional regulation over time.
Effective Strategies to Help Your Child Manage Tantrums
Tantrums are a normal part of early childhood development, typically occurring between ages 1 and 3 as children learn to manage strong emotions. Common guidance includes staying calm, ensuring safety, avoiding reinforcing tantrum triggers, and teaching emotional regulation skills through empathy and positive reinforcement.
From around the web
Temper Tantrums: Why They Happen and How to Respond
Explains why tantrums occur and offers strategies for parents to manage them calmly.
American Academy of Pediatrics
Helping Children Manage Big Emotions
Discusses teaching children calming techniques and emotional regulation skills.
Child Mind Institute
Understanding and Responding to Toddler Tantrums
Provides guidance on emotional development and empathetic limit-setting during tantrums.
ZERO TO THREE