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Effective Strategies to Help Your Child Manage Tantrums
A structured overview of what credible sources and parent perspectives commonly say about this topic.
Quick answer
Tantrums are normal emotional outbursts common in toddlers. Helpful approaches include staying calm, not giving in to tantrum demands, acknowledging feelings, and teaching calming strategies like deep breathing. Alternatives for managing tantrums include methods recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics, Child Mind Institute, and ZERO TO THREE, all emphasizing emotional literacy, consistent limits, and positive reinforcement.
At a glance
Things to try now
What to do now
- 1Stay calm and ensure your child is safe during the tantrum without giving in to demands
- 2After the tantrum, briefly acknowledge your child's feelings: 'I see you were really upset just now.'
- 3Redirect your child to a positive or calming activity to shift focus
What to say
- “I know you felt angry when it was time to stop playing, and that's okay.”
- “It looks like your body is full of big feelings — let's take some deep breaths together.”
- “I won't let you hit, but I'm here with you to help you calm down.”
What to practice consistently
- Regularly narrate your child's emotions during calm moments to build emotional vocabulary
- Teach and practice simple calming techniques like deep breathing or squeezing a favorite toy
- Set and maintain consistent, empathetic limits around behavior and transitions
What to avoid
- Giving in to tantrum demands, which can reinforce the behavior
- Reacting with anger, frustration, or punishment during tantrums
- Ignoring or dismissing the child's feelings entirely
These are common approaches mentioned in sources and by parents. They are informational, not prescriptive.
What this usually involves
- Recognizing tantrums as a normal developmental phase where children express frustration and strong emotions
- Staying calm and ensuring the child's safety during tantrums without reinforcing the behavior by giving in
- Acknowledging the child's feelings after the tantrum to build emotional vocabulary (e.g., 'I know you were upset')
- Identifying and proactively addressing common triggers such as hunger, fatigue, or transitions
- Teaching simple calming strategies like deep breathing, squeezing a stuffed animal, or asking for a break
- Setting simple, consistent limits with empathy to help children feel safe while learning self-regulation
Related questions
Teach simple calming strategies such as deep breathing, squeezing a stuffed animal, or asking for a break, and practice these regularly during calm moments.
Common triggers include hunger, fatigue, transitions between activities, and frustration from not being able to express needs.
Consult a pediatrician if tantrums are very frequent, last longer than 15 minutes, involve self-injury, or significantly disrupt daily life.
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From around the web
Temper Tantrums: Why They Happen and How to Respond
Explains why tantrums occur and offers strategies for parents to manage them effectively.
American Academy of Pediatrics
How to Handle Tantrums and Meltdowns
Provides insights into the causes of tantrums and practical calming techniques.
Child Mind Institute
Tantrums and Emotional Development in Toddlers
Discusses tantrums as a normal part of emotional development and how to support toddlers.
ZERO TO THREE