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How Parents Can Help Young Children Identify and Understand Their Emotions
A structured overview of what credible sources and parent perspectives commonly say about this topic.
Quick answer
Parents can teach young children to identify emotions by narrating the child's feelings during calm moments, using simple emotion words, and modeling emotional regulation. Recommended approaches include the ZERO TO THREE method of narrating emotions, the Child Mind Institute’s calming strategies, and the American Academy of Pediatrics’ guidance on acknowledging feelings and redirecting behavior.
At a glance
Things to try now
What to do now
- 11. During a calm moment, narrate your child's feelings by saying, 'It looks like you felt upset when that happened.'
- 22. Teach a simple calming technique such as taking three deep breaths together when emotions run high.
- 33. Praise your child specifically when they use words to express their feelings, e.g., 'I like how you told me you were frustrated.'
What to say
- “I see you're feeling angry right now. It's okay to feel that way.”
- “When you feel upset, you can take deep breaths or hold your favorite toy to feel better.”
- “I know you were sad when we had to leave the park. Let's think about what fun we had today.”
What to practice consistently
- Regularly naming emotions during everyday activities to build vocabulary.
- Modeling calm responses to your own emotions to teach regulation.
- Establishing consistent routines that help children feel secure and better manage emotions.
What to avoid
- Reacting to tantrums with anger or frustration, which can escalate the child's distress.
- Giving in to tantrum demands, which can reinforce negative behavior.
- Ignoring or dismissing the child's feelings, which can hinder emotional development.
These are common approaches mentioned in sources and by parents. They are informational, not prescriptive.
What this usually involves
- Narrating the child's emotional experience during calm times to build emotional vocabulary (ZERO TO THREE)
- Teaching simple calming strategies like deep breathing or squeezing a stuffed animal (Child Mind Institute)
- Using positive reinforcement to praise use of words to express feelings (AAP)
- Setting consistent limits with empathy to help children feel safe during emotional distress (ZERO TO THREE)
- Avoiding punishment or giving in to tantrums to prevent reinforcing negative behavior (AAP)
- Modeling neutral, calm responses to children's strong emotions to teach regulation (Child Mind Institute)
Related questions
Parents can acknowledge the child's feelings briefly, stay calm, and redirect to positive activities to build emotional vocabulary and regulation skills.
Techniques like taking deep breaths, squeezing a stuffed animal, or asking for a break help children manage frustration before emotions escalate.
If tantrums are very frequent, last long, involve self-injury, or if the child shows persistent sadness, withdrawal, or anxiety, parents should consult a pediatrician or mental health professional.
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From around the web
Helping Your Child Manage Emotions and Behavior
Guidance on supporting toddlers' emotional development and managing tantrums.
American Academy of Pediatrics
Emotional Development in Early Childhood
Information on emotional milestones and how parents can support young children's emotional growth.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Helping Toddlers and Preschoolers Manage Big Feelings
Practical strategies for teaching young children calming skills and emotional regulation.
Child Mind Institute
Emotional Development: Ages 1-3
Resources on emotional milestones and supporting toddlers’ emotional literacy.
ZERO TO THREE