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Effective Strategies for Helping Siblings Get Along Better

A structured overview of what credible sources and parent perspectives commonly say about this topic.

Quick answer

Sibling rivalry refers to the natural competition and conflicts between brothers and sisters. Common approaches to improve sibling relationships include avoiding taking sides, encouraging children to use words to express feelings, setting clear rules against physical aggression, and spending focused one-on-one time with each child to reduce competition for attention.

At a glance

Most common inFamilies with children close in age or after a new baby arrives
Usually meansNormal rivalry and occasional conflicts between siblings over attention, toys, or roles
What helps mostClear family rules, teaching communication skills, and individual parental attention
AvoidTaking sides, harsh criticism, and frequent comparisons between siblings
Look closer ifConflicts become physical or emotionally harmful, or if rivalry severely impacts family harmony

Things to try now

What to do now

  • 11. Establish and communicate clear family rules that physical aggression is not allowed.
  • 22. Spend 10-15 minutes of focused one-on-one time with each child today.
  • 33. Teach children simple phrases like 'Can I have a turn next?' to express their feelings.

What to say

  • “I know you’re upset that your brother took your toy. Can you tell him how you feel?”
  • “It’s okay to feel angry, but we use words, not hands, to solve problems.”
  • “Let’s figure out a way you both can play together nicely.”

What to practice consistently

  • Regularly setting aside one-on-one time with each child to build individual connection.
  • Encouraging children to express feelings with words and praising their efforts.
  • Allowing children to try resolving minor conflicts independently before stepping in.

What to avoid

  • Taking sides or showing favoritism during conflicts.
  • Comparing siblings’ behaviors or achievements.
  • Intervening immediately in every minor dispute, which can hinder conflict resolution skills.

These are common approaches mentioned in sources and by parents. They are informational, not prescriptive.

What this usually involves

  • Avoiding parental favoritism or taking sides to prevent resentment
  • Helping children express feelings with words rather than actions
  • Setting clear family rules that physical aggression is unacceptable
  • Spending regular one-on-one time with each child to strengthen individual bonds
  • Allowing children to resolve minor disputes independently to build negotiation skills
  • Teaching specific phrases for conflict resolution and praising their use

Related questions

How can parents reduce sibling jealousy?

Spending individual quality time with each child and acknowledging their unique strengths helps reduce jealousy.

What are good conflict resolution phrases for children?

Phrases like 'I don’t like it when you take my toy. Can I have a turn next?' encourage respectful communication.

When should parents intervene in sibling fights?

Parents should intervene when conflicts become physical, emotionally harmful, or when children cannot resolve disputes on their own.

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About this page

Sources checked

2026-08-15

This page was created using structured synthesis of public guidance, parent perspectives, and practical next steps.

It is informational only and not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or educational advice.

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