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How to Encourage Your Child to Work Better with Peers
A structured overview of what credible sources and parent perspectives commonly say about this topic.
Quick answer
Working better with peers means developing social and emotional skills like cooperation, sharing, and communication. Parents can encourage this by creating play opportunities, teaching conflict-resolution phrases, and praising positive peer interactions, while avoiding immediate intervention in minor disputes.
At a glance
Things to try now
What to do now
- 1Set up a short playdate with one or two peers to observe and support cooperative play
- 2Teach your child a simple phrase like, 'Can I have a turn next?' and practice it together
- 3Praise your child immediately when they share or wait patiently during play
What to say
- “I like how you said, 'Can I have a turn next?' That helps everyone play happily.”
- “It looks like you’re feeling upset because you want the toy. Let's use our words to ask for a turn.”
- “When you share your toys, your friends feel happy and want to play with you more.”
What to practice consistently
- Encourage daily opportunities for your child to play with others, either at home or in community settings
- Regularly model calm and respectful communication during family interactions
- Help your child name their feelings and practice calming strategies like deep breaths when frustrated
What to avoid
- Jumping in immediately to solve every minor dispute between children
- Taking sides or criticizing harshly when conflicts arise
- Using punishment or threats to control peer interactions
These are common approaches mentioned in sources and by parents. They are informational, not prescriptive.
What this usually involves
- Providing regular opportunities for cooperative play with peers in settings like playdates, preschool, or community activities
- Teaching children specific phrases to express feelings and negotiate, such as 'Can I have a turn next?'
- Modeling calm and respectful interactions with others to demonstrate emotional regulation
- Allowing children to attempt resolving minor disputes independently to build negotiation skills
- Praising specific positive behaviors like sharing, waiting patiently, and using words to express frustration
- Setting clear family rules about unacceptable behaviors like physical aggression
Related questions
Teach simple calming strategies like deep breathing or asking for a break, and model calm emotional responses yourself.
Look for frequent social withdrawal, inability to share or take turns, or intense conflicts that do not improve over time.
Avoid comparisons, set clear family rules, and create structured activities where siblings collaborate rather than compete.
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From around the web
Helping Your Child Learn to Get Along with Others
Guidance on teaching toddlers social skills like sharing and cooperation.
American Academy of Pediatrics
Social Skills and Emotional Learning
Strategies for parents to help children develop social and emotional skills.
Child Mind Institute
Supporting Social and Emotional Development in Early Childhood
Resources on fostering social and emotional skills in young children.
Head Start / ECLKC
Helping Children Manage Anger and Frustration
Tips for parents on helping children handle strong emotions.
Nemours KidsHealth